I Get So Mad I Can’t Think

Georgia closed the door to her room and started downstairs.  She glanced back to make sure the door was closed tightly.  She did not want her three younger brothers to go into her room while she was gone. “If only I had a lock on my door,” she thought. “Then I wouldn’t have to worry about the boys messing with my stuff.”

            Her mom and dad had instructed the boys many times not to go into Georgia’s room unless she gave them permission.  But still she would find one or all of them in her room playing with her toys.  Even when she didn’t actually catch them in action she could tell they had been in there.  They usually made a mess, dumping out toys or scattering her books.  It was frustrating because Georgia usually had to clean up the messes they made.

            She wished she didn’t care as much as she did about this.  She hated how angry and mean she became to her brothers when she found them in her room.  Trying to stop herself, she had memorized Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.” But usually she didn’t think about the verse until after she said the harsh words.

            Georgia talked to her grandma about this problem one evening.  “I get so angry that I can’t think,” she told her.

            Her grandma asked her a  hard question.  “How does it make you feel when they go into your room without asking you?”

            She thought for a minute before she blurted out, “I feel disrespected.”

            Her grandma told her she would pray for her and ask God to give His answer.  Later that week her grandma wrote her an email with some more questions for her to think about.  “When you feel disrespected what thoughts come to mind? I want you to try to listen to the things you say when you are angry.  The key to dealing with anger is to see what else is under the anger.  Then you can ask Jesus what He wants you to know that will change your wrong thoughts.”

            It was only the next day before it happened again.  She found her littlest brother in the middle of her room with the whole bin of Polly Pockets dumped and scattered around him.  “William,” she wailed, “not again!  I told you not to dump out the toys.  You are not supposed to be in my room!”  She put her hands on her hips and stomped her feet and he looked up with a cute smile.

            That just made her madder and she began to yell at him, “You don’t even care that I am mad! Nobody cares about me.  Nobody listens to me! I hate my brothers!”  The more she yelled, the madder she became.

            When William burst into tears, she started thinking about what she was saying.  She knew she didn’t hate her brothers but in the moment of anger it felt good to say it.  As she looked at the sadness of her two and a half year old brother she wished she could take back those ugly words.

            Later she called her grandma again to talk to her about her questions.  Grandma listened to her and them asked, “Can I pray with you, Georgia?” 

            “Uh huh,” she said quietly. 

            “Jesus, Georgia needs You right now.  She is starting to realize that when her brothers disrespects her it makes her feel that nobody cares for her.  She needs to know what You want her to know.”  As her grandma prayed tears came to Georgia’s eyes. 

            “Grandma,” she whispered.  “I think He wants me to know that He cares for me.” 

            “That is so true, Georgia.  He does care for you.  He understands how you feel.  He wants you to know that He cares about everything that happens to you.  I will send you some verses that you can write down to remind you of this truth.”

            “Did you know that God also knew that you would get angry and say mean things to your brothers even though that is not what He wants you to do? That is why Jesus came to earth to die – to pay for your wrong choice to hurt little William with your mean words.”

            “I am so sorry that I did that grandma. I didn’t want to hurt William even if he did didn’t obey mamma.  What should I do, Grandma?” 

            “Georgia, do you believe that Jesus forgives you for those harsh words?” 

            “Yes,” she answered. 

            “Then lets stop right now and thank Him for that forgiveness.  Jesus, thank You for dying for Georgia being angry and hurting her brother.  Thank You that You also died for William’s disobedience.  Will You help her know right now know how great a love You have for her? Even when she makes wrong choices, You love her.  Thank You for caring about her.  Amen.”

            “Thank You, grandma.  I am going to find William and tell him that I love him and that I forgive him.”


The verses that grandma sent her:

1 Peter 5:6-7

 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.


Humble yourself means to admit that you can’t do what He wants you to do.  In this case, it is saying “Lord, I try to be good but I keep doing the wrong thing.  I need You, Jesus, because only You can remind me how much You love me and give me the power to love my brother.”


Casting all your anxieties on Him means to throw all of the things that distract you from loving God to God – take the caring about your toys, the caring about a mess you have to clean up, wad it into a ball and throw it to God.  Let Him take care of you because you matter to Him.               


Verna McCrillis, 11/16/2011